I’m so over petty, jealous and insecure People that are intimidated by other Peoples happiness and authenticNess. People that hide behind their issuesAnd go around trying to heal others When they really need to heal Themselves but refuse to communicate Their issues. – Nerissa Irving
Communicate!!! Asking for help doesn’t make you weak.
“Vulnerability is the only authentic state. Being vulnerable means being open, for wounding, but also for pleasure. Being open to the wounds of life means also being open to the bounty and beauty. Don’t mask or deny your vulnerability: it is your greatest asset. Be vulnerable: quake and shake in your boots with it. the new goodness that is coming to you, in the form of people, situations, and things can only come to you when you are vulnerable” -Stephen Russell
A list to Remind you helps you stay on track. There is always time for self improvement.
“In the West, spring officially begins on March 21st, when the days and nights are exactly the same—the spring equinox. The Chinese feel that, energetically, spring begins with the Chinese New Year, in February, when the light begins its return, and the dormant forces under the frozen ground are called to life again. In both systems the basic energy remains the same: new beginnings and a fresh start.”
A Sensual Selfie of Myself right now. I love photography and I love capturing moments as the photographer.
I’m going to make the extra room we have into a Sensual Art Room. Since we are still remodeling our home its the perfect time to use the blank slate to create something @m1deadprezrbg and I can create in and take our Reiki and Orgasmic powers to the next level. Painting, Photography, Healing, Meditating, Love Making . Find your space and manifest it into something that represents your ever growing spirit. ❤️ Have an amazing day.
By Toshia Shaw
I should know because a little over five years ago I was that person. I started a non-profit mentoring agency for at-risk girls in my city of Las Vegas, Nevada to give back to my community. But as I helped others get their lives on track, mine was spiraling out of control due to my secret. Years back after I was honorably discharged from the military I returned home to Memphis, Tennessee. One night while still becoming acclimated to the city I decided to take myself out for a night of dancing, only I never made it inside the nightclub.
I met two men who were parked right outside of the club sitting in their car. The driver urged me to skip the club and meet them for breakfast to become acquainted. Against better judgment I happily agreed, jumped in my car and followed them to the restaurant. When we got there we were seated and the conversation flowed. I told the driver, who I thought I had a connection with, all about how I had just arrived in Memphis, looked forward to starting college, and I was looking for a job. He listened intently, and his easy for me to open up. I left the two men to excuse myself to the bathroom. But on my way back to the table my stomach literally dropped, and I brushed off my intuition.
When I returned back to the table the driver’s friend was nowhere to be found, and I instantly became nervous. My new friend asked me to sit down, I was hesitant, and that hesitation quickly turned into panic when I realized I left my purse at the table. He sensed my worry, and held up my purse in a sort of mocking gesture to insinuate that yes, I indeed fucked up by leaving my purse at that table. This time he didn’t ask me to sit down; he demanded that I sit down. He scooted in so close to me I could feel his breath on the back of my neck, and the steel from the gun he had pressed on my thigh. He proceeded to tell me that I had found the new job I was looking for.
You see, I had walked into that restaurant a free woman, but I left as a sex slave. But this story isn’t even about me being trafficked. It’s about the trauma that I endured for months, years after surviving it. It’s about how I hid my story, too afraid to tell the girls ages 12-18 that sat in front of me telling me about their vicious stories of being sex trafficked in my city of Las Vegas in my organization. This is about how I faced my demons of guilt and shame, overcame major trauma, sought therapy, energy healing, yoga, meditation, and mindfulness meditation to save my life. It’s about how I stepped into my power, stood in my truth, and owned my story to use it to help others. It’s how I embraced my imperfections, studied them, and flipped them into positives to save hundreds of girls and women. Finally, it’s how I did the hard work of rectifying my past, to rise like a lotus flower in an extremely dirty pond.
This is about how you have to do the same thing if you want to help others. You’re going to have to face the uncomfortable bullshit of your past, accept it, get past it, and finally own it. How do you do that? You get some help that’s how! No one wants to sit in front of a stranger pouring their heart out about their past, but guess what it has to be done. Once you do, you’ll feel better. The clinician can give you tips and tools to deal with your past trauma. You can get the help of a life coach or take it one step further and get holistic healing. This type of help will kick it into high gear with helping you learn how to use mindful meditation to quiet the constant chatter in your mind. Yoga, to bring your body and mind into alignment, finally you can work on a divine connection to gain the assistance from a higher power. You will need to practice forgiveness, which is the one thing that helped me through it all. With forgiveness, you finally take your power back, to completely heal and move forward with your life.
The point is this, how in the hell are you supposed to help somebody else if you haven’t invested in, nor loved yourself enough to heal what ails you? You can’t. Not successfully anyway. It’s time to truly live authentically without hiding behind the mask. If you want to be successful in helping others do me a favor and invest in your own healing first.
If this post resonated with you please sign-up on my website, toshiashaw.com. You’ll receive a chapter of my upcoming novel, The Green Light of Forgiveness: A meditation on forgiveness to take total control over your life after trauma, tips, tools, and techniques to help you live your best life.
Need help? In the U.S., call 1-888-373-7888 for the National Human Trafficking Resource Center.
You’ll discover how to make a sacred space in your home to awaken the sensualGoddess in you.
You’ll discover the best crystals to balance the masculine and feminine vibrations within your body, and nurture your spirit.
You’ll discover how to reconnect with your sexuality and embrace your innatepersonal power.
You’ll disover how to increase your devine feminine energy.
You’ll discover ways to achieve total balance; mind, body, and soul.
I was soo inspired by a lady on the plane yesterday. She made me realize that everything tgood and especially painful will make you into a better person.
Most of us have all been through painful relationship issues that made us questions if the person hurting us really genuinely loves us. “If they really love us they wouldn’t do things that push us apart !” And yes that should be true in a perfect world but we are not perfect. We can’t be Perfect if we are learning everyday.
And no matter how much you see others going through situations you say you would never go through it just simply doesn’t happen that way.
We are made of energy and energy attracts energy. We are curious beings always trying to find ourselves and improve ourselves. We are attracted to things that stimulates us. This is why music affects our emotions so deeply and can make us feel pain when we were just happy 10 minutes ago.
The lady on the plane told me she cheated on her boyfriend one time . She begged him to forgive her because her foolish decision made her realize her lack of communication is what got her into the situation in the first place. He didn’t forgive her so they broke up.
Two years later she met her husband. They were together for 8 years before they got married. Everything was perfect until she found out he cheated on her . She was devastated because she didn’t see any signs of it coming . He begged for her forgiveness and said he would never do it again so she forgave him.
A year later he asked her if she would be open to a having an Open Relationship. He said he loves her deeply and doesn’t want to be without her but there is something missing in his life. She rejected him and said “if this is what you want then we can’t be together. I’m not sharing you with anyone!” So he begged her forgiveness again and said I’m sorry. “I’m sorry for hurting. I love you. I’m just trying figure myself out with you still in my life. You are my soulmate and life partner”
Another year passed and she got pregnant. When she was 6 months pregnant she found out he cheated again. She prayed and asked god why he was punishing her. “Why is the person I love the most hurting? Please keep my baby healthy and happy while I go through this pain!”
Once again he begged for her forgiveness and said he found himself. “I know you want to leave me and maybe you should because I have done the unforgivable. I know what I want and who I am now. I’m sorry I had to bring you pain to find this out but please forgive me. I know it’s hard to believe but I’m hurting too.”
She said they would see where their relationship stands after the baby arrived. She told him he could sleep on the couch or move out. He chose to stay home and be there for her for the rest of the pregnancy.
After the baby arrived she still didn’t want to be with him.
It wasn’t until the baby was 3 months that she said “something deep within is telling me to give you another chance. I love you so much and being without hurts me but I can’t handle anymore disrespect from you. Let’s try again.”
They got married and had 2 more children. After 20 years of a beautiful marriage, patience, and good communication her husband died of cancer. “If I could do it all over again with the pain and heartbreak I would do it 20 more times. I learned so much about love and patience. I got ti spend everyday with my soulmate and life partner. Forgiveness is everything ! We are not perfect ! My boyfriend didn’t even give me another chance after I cheated on him so I decided that I would do better then that. My reward was my amazing husband. Yes he made mistakes but I will never judge him for being Energy!! For being music ! For loving! You wanna know a little extra something I learned about myself. I learned that I liked having threesomes. I introduced the situation to my husband and his crazy ex-cheating self didn’t want to do it (i laughed my ass off when she said this) . It took him 3 years to say yes. I guess I turned out to be the kinkier one in the relationship. You see how life works !”
Do what makes you happy.
Having a mommy moment 😩
. I’m so happy to be home with my baby. I’ve never been away from her for more then a week. I spent 16 days away from baby 😩. Lord knows I needed a break from my work and I needed to fully connect to my sacral chakra with my King. The break was needed and I enjoyed every bit of it. But I know my mommies out there can realate when I say “my body mind and soul just needed my baby Mali.” I was starting to feel disconnected with my womb. I was starting to feel not useful. “I’m a mother, I should be with my baby! She needs me! ”
So many thoughts ran through my head. I even felt disappointed in myself for some odd reason. “Why am I away from my business so long.”
I’m a mother, wife, and business woman . I’m naturally a nurturer! But sometimes I forget to take care of the most important person in the equation. Myself!!
We have to take some time to relax and disconnect from the everyday routines or else the things we love so dearly will bring us pain.
Pamper yourself once in a while mommies. We deserve it !!